True Scars Never Heal
by TrilyFan4lyf91
Summary: Lily has found someone special that she truly loves, but many other obstacles and people get in the way, her pressure boils over and everyone sees her pain in an unhealthy way. PLz R&R! Heavy issues are IN this story (drugs and possbly self-destruction)
1. Tickling Is Where It Starts

Hi everyone, ok I can't keep from writing I have forgiven fanfiction.net,  
SO I'M GUNNA STAY ON FANFICTION.NET!!! yay to all of my fans, and yay because I lurrrrrrrrve writing, this is my new fanfiction its Lily's POV, and this will be Rily, PLEASE REVIEW THIS!! I lurve writing so I'm sorry if I lied to you all about quitting I really was going to but I'm back, and I  
couldn't keep myself away from writing!! Please read and review!  
  
True Scars Never Heal  
  
Chapter 1: Tickling Is Where It Starts  
Radio Free Roscoe  
  
There we were alone again, how did this keep on happening? Travis and Robbie had left one their dates, Travis who was back with Audrey and Robbie with his girlfriend who he never told who it was, it wasn't hard to figure it out though, we all knew it was Kim, but played dumb for his sake. Ray was rummaging through my CD collection as I was sitting there playing with Ray's little "friend", which he had gotten off the RFR auction.  
  
"Lily, put the little horsey down and no one gets hurt" he said being funny as usual, I got up and ran around with his little "Friend" until I jumped on the couch and he profusely tickled my ribs.  
  
"RAY!! Stop it" I tried to get out while laughing, he was laughing too, I loved his laugh, I even loved the way he tickled me, I just plain loved him.  
  
"Not until you give my horsey back" He said, I threw his friend across the underground but he still tickled me still.  
  
"Ray you said you would stop" I said mid punch which missed his arm, I never missed, never once in my life. It was because I was laughing too hard.  
  
"Well Lily, I lied" He said and he tickled me more until his hand slipped and ended up tickling the couch, I took this time to get him on the couch and try to get at him.  
  
"NOOO I'm getting tickled now" Ray said because he was now pinned under me, and I tickled him until I couldn't feel my fingers, and when he eventually gave in. We soon became tired and I noticed that I had my head rested on his chest.  
  
"Lily" Ray said in a calmed passionate voice. I wanted to kiss him more then ever right now. I pulled my head up and we were not very far away, I was breathing in his breathe. Mint, his toothpaste and apparently mints he had this afternoon. I felt like he was going to kiss me.  
  
"Ray" I managed out through my choking words, we were officially 1 inch apart and I saw Ray lean in, I knew I had to go with it, but what would happen to our friendship. All I knew now that I wanted him. Ray and I laid down on the couch kissing and Then I felt my hands on his chest, his shirt, but I couldn't believe it I was here with Ray on the couch, kissing him and my hand on his cotton V-neck sweater he had worn to school. My pain was gone, although more pain would start as tomorrow arrived, I just didn't know It then all I wanted was the stay there on the couch and kiss Ray forever. 


	2. The Earth Shakes and A Single Heart Brea...

HI!! It's Amanda here I really hope to get more reviews on this story  
PLEASE review this just PLEASE review I refuse to post another chapter  
until I get at least 5 reviews!! I need 2 more!!! Please PLEASE please  
review!!!  
  
True Scars Never Heal  
  
Chapter 2: The Earth Shakes and A Single Heart Brakes  
Radio Free Roscoe  
  
My pain was gone, although more pain would start as tomorrow arrived, I just didn't know It then all I wanted was the stay there on the couch and kiss Ray forever. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
Our lips pulled apart and we went back to gazing into each others eyes.  
  
"Wow, was that real?" was all I could manage to let out, I was trying to read him and how he felt, but now it was like reading Travis, nothing, absolutely nothing, his eye's just gazed at me, but nothing were they saying.  
  
"Yea Lily, I don't think any dream of mine could have ever gotten that real" I felt happy. He dreamt of me before, just as I had of him, many many times I had dreamt of our first date and how romantic it would be, but I had also dreamt about Travis, who had an apparent crush on me, because I felt him kiss back once I kissed him a while ago.  
  
"Ray, you ever think that me and you would ever work out?" I asked half afraid to hear the answer and half waiting anxiously for it.  
  
"There's one way to find out, Lil" He said, I apparently had given him a confused look, and he leaned in and kissed me again, again his minty breath mingled with mine. I grasped my hands around his neck and I felt his hands around my waist and on my back, we had only been here 2 hours, I was watching the clock, but it felt like we had been here for years, like this was meant to happen... like we were meant to happen. We broke loose after an amazingly passionate kiss.  
  
"Well could you answer your question now?" Ray asked obviously with a nervous tone. I wasn't going to let him down, I loved him and I finally had someone who cared for me, who had known me and loved me, and finally someone who really understood me and loved me and saw through my flaws, and loved me for whoever I was.  
  
"Yes Ray, I can answer my own question, I love you and this will definitely work out" With that Ray smiled and kissed me one last time, I didn't want to let go, but I had to, I had a physics test I needed to study for, I needed to get home.  
  
"Ray, physics calls I have to go" Ray got up and politely walked me home once we were a few feet from my house, I turned around I could barely tell where Ray was it was a very dark night, but I could tell I was going to get a kiss goodnite.  
  
"Thanks for the walk home Ray"  
  
"Thank you Lily, for letting me walk you home" With that I looked into his brown eyes, and was amazed that we were a couple, Me and Ray. Wow, at school we would be labeled, labeled as a couple hopefully it never gets to him.  
  
"How about a kiss goodnite?"  
  
"Wow, Ray asking to kiss me very...different" He gave me a smile and I closed my eyes as I felt his lips press against mine I even felt his tongue against mine, we broke apart from either our 3rd or 4th kiss of the night, Ray held my hands until he left and smiled at me. I began to walk up my steps and ran into an obviously hurt Travis.  
  
"Travis, what are you doing here?" I asked staring at him.  
  
"Not Much Lily, just coming to tell you how much I cared for you" he began to walk away, but then stopped and came back "Oh hey Lily this is for you" he said with a hurt tone to his voice and also completely annoyed tone as well, he had just given me a single red rose. Which I held tightly in my hand I felt tears run down my cheeks, Travis had loved me, HAD loved me, now he hated me, I had just kissed Ray while Travis was sitting there heartbroken, I heard sobs, I just then realized they were my own, I wiped away my tears and found blood, the rose I have squeezed had cut up my hand really bad, I had three thorns driven into my hand, but it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. I also had drops of blood on my t-shirt and tear drops stained my eyes. I went inside, and saw Simone asleep on the couch, I went up to my room, and pulled out the thorns I bled more, I cried more, I felt more awful. I cried myself to sleep that night, and into a dreamless sleep nonetheless. 


	3. Needing Support

Here is another update !!! YAY!! Not many reviews last time!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEEASE Review this chapter!!

!We Were Meant To Live For So Much More!

!Have We Lost Ourselves?!

!Somewhere We Live Inside!

True Scars Never Heal  
  
Ch 3: Needing Support  
Radio Free Roscoe  
  
I went inside, and saw Simone asleep on the couch, I went up to my room, and pulled out the thorns I bled more, I cried more, I felt more awful. I cried myself to sleep that night, and into a dreamless sleep nonetheless. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
!!!!!  
  
When I awoke my head was throbbing, there was no way I was going to school today, my hand had gotten purple and swollen because of the depth the thorns had been.  
  
"Honey, time to get ready for school" My mother came and told me.  
  
"I'm not going to school today ma" I replied, I felt like a truck had run me over and then backed over me.  
  
"What's wrong?" she questioned the usual mom thing.  
  
"Well for one, My head hurts so much I can't feel the pain in my hand which I got when a guy gave me a thorned rose"  
  
"OO do you have a boyfriend now?"  
  
"No, well..." I had to think about this two guys had feelings for me, I had to decide, did I have a boyfriend? I thought it through and I didn't have one. "No mom I don't have one"  
  
"Well if you are feeling this bad, I'll leave you home but you know you can call me or your dad if you need anything"  
  
"Ok Mom" She then left my room, and I laid back, I had just denied having a boyfriend when me and Ray had had this kissing fest last night and then Travis... I didn't want to think about Travis, I had broken his heart which would mean the third time something like that had happened, 1st in London, 2nd Audrey, 3rd Me, I felt awful, I didn't want to think anymore, I just didn't want to do anything anymore, I wanted to cry, that's it, so that's exactly what I did. Then I heard my ringtone "The Reason" by Hoobastank ring louder and louder, trying to stop my sobs I picked up the phone.  
  
"H-H-Hello" apparently my "stopping the sobs" thing didn't work out.  
  
"Lily?" a familiar lower toned voice asked.  
  
"Yea, it's me"  
  
"What's wrong"  
  
"Nothing, its my daily thing to cry my eyes out every morning" I laughed slightly, fake laugh, sort of like this fake life I was leading, full of lies and misconception.  
  
"Come on Lily, what's wrong, is it because of what happened last night?" he asked, it was, but how was I going to put it?  
  
"Yes sort of..."  
  
"I'm sorry for what I did to you last night, I sort of knew you wouldn't return my feelings"  
  
"Travis, I like you ok? It's just me and Ray have known each other for so much longer, and I guess it makes more sense, I'm sorry that I hurt you, you are my best friend, and you know I would never do anything to hurt you."  
  
"I know Lily, but you kind of did it anyway" Then the line went dead. I felt awful I had found out that I indeed HAD broken his heart and hurt him. I made Travis feel like "durt" which was Ray's way of saying "Dazed and Hurt" I felt like the worst friend in the world. I continued to cry until yet again I heard that familiar ringtone.  
  
"Hello" I managed to keep my sobs under control  
  
"Lily, What's Wrong" Ok, apparently I had given something away, but he always knew when I was down.  
  
"Everything"  
  
"We have an hour before school, I'm coming over"  
  
"You don't need to, really"  
  
"Too bad Lily, I'm already on my way"  
  
I hung up and found myself smiling, smiling? At I time like this I was supposed to by crying my eyes out, but I knew once he got here, I would be fine, I needed a friend to talk to, and right now he would understand the most. I hear a ring, not my phone, another ring, not the house phone either, it was the doorbell I hurried up and got it. There he was my friend, I hugged him, and with that he knew how much was wrong.  
  
"I'm really glad you came here"  
  
"It's not a problem, I mean I know when you "need a friend" which was what I said when he surprised me at the underground a few weeks ago when we were entangled in the Travis/Ray/Me catastrophe.  
  
"Thanks Robbie" I guided him up to my room, and we sat on my bed.  
  
"So, are you going to tell me anything?" He questioned with a concerned tone even a concerned look.  
  
"Ok, here it is, Ray and me stayed back in the underground yesterday after the show and you and Travis went out on dates, me and Ray talked and then kissed, many times, we decided it would be alright if we went out, so then he walks me home and gives me this mindblowing goodnight kiss, and then I walk up to my porch and Travis sits there heartbroken, and hands me a single red rose and leaves, I squeeze the rose to hard trying to think why this all happened and (shows him purple swollen hand) this happens, and Travis called earlier and told me that even if I didn't mean to (at this time her sobs came back and so did her tears) I-I hurt Him a-a-anyway, a-a- and now I-I-I feel like a big jerk, the b-b-biggest jerk ever" Robbie hugged me and offered support, he was the greatest friend he let me cry on his shoulder for a full 20 minutes, and told me that whatever decision I would eventually make, it would be the right one because I decided it.  
  
"I'm sorry I kept you here with my petty problems, it's going to make you late for school" I said feeling bad for Robbie  
  
"It's fine Lily, when my friend is hurting I can't just stand and watch" He said with a smile.  
  
"Well since I'm dating Ray, and Travis obviously hates me, You are the best friend a girl could ever had" I kissed him on the cheek, friendly kiss, though I didn't want it to get out of hand like it had with Travis.  
  
"And you are the best friend I could have" Robbie said while smiling, "I wish I could stay but I really have to get to school"  
  
"Oh yea, right, Robbie never late or absent from school" I gave him a smile, real one this time, I was feeling so much better.  
  
"You know me too well Lily" He gave a faint laugh and left my room. I was amazingly smiling, Robbie made me realize that I was dating my best friend, and that I would need to talk to Travis about that, but whatever happened I could always talk to him if I needed support, I grabbed my headphones and turned on my Switchfoot CD, my favorite song "Meant To Live" was on repeat, I fell asleep like that, I completely forgot about everything, but I didn't know that later once I turned on the radio I would feel bad again, and so would one of my friends. 


	4. Fights And Pills

_Hi This is the writer of this story Amanda and I wanted to give you a heads up about this chapter. This chapter deals with an addiction to painkillers (aspirin) by a 14 year old, it's pretty intense (a lot like something you  
might see on degrassi). I'm letting you know this because I felt it necessary to let people know. This chapter might be intense, BUT the next chapter will be even more intense, SO if you review this story enough, the next chapter will be posted, sooner then if you don't review my story (1 week w/out updates on this story, if you do review though, it will be much  
sooner)  
_  
True Scars Never Heal  
  
Chapter 4: Fights & Pills  
Radio Free Roscoe  
  
I grabbed my headphones and turned on my Switchfoot CD, my favorite song "Meant To Live" was on repeat, I fell asleep like that, I completely forgot about everything, but I didn't know that later once I turned on the radio I would feel bad again, and so would one of my friends. !#!#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#!#!  
  
When I woke up, it was going on 9 am, my hand felt terrible, I went to the medicine cabinet in got peroxide and a bowl so I get the infection out.  
  
"Well here it goes" knowing how much this was going to hurt, I stuck my hand in the bowl and immediate pain rain through my vains, it was almost worse then the actually pain I had felt when the thorns were driven into my hands. Bubbles were coming from my hand, the infection was draining, I got a tissue and wiped away most of the infection and repeated this process 3 more times to get most of the infection out. I then got a large ace bandage and wrapped my hand with it, my hand was beginning to be more pained, by anything that touched it, it was mindblowing pain, I needed aspirin, so I went back to the medicine cabinet and found aspirin, it said take 2 every 4- 6 hours, I stared heavily at the bottle there were many left, I felt so much pain and so many things were swirling through my head, I took 8 instead, it would make me feel better right? I drank a glass of water and watched T.V for a few hours, I then became very dizzy, and my hand went completely numb, no pain the better, I also felt sick to my stomach, I went to my room and tried to sleep again, my vision became blurry and I blacked out as soon as I got into my room, the floor was my bed.  
  
I woke up many hours later, it looked as if the clock said 13:67, but I knew that couldn't be right, so I got up, my head was throbbing, I managed to pick up the clock, but my hand was so shaky when I picked it up, my screwed up vision couldn't read it, so I put it down and read the time. It was 3:45, 15 minutes till RFR, I decided to crawl downstairs and get some food, if I didn't crawl I would have fallen down 15 stairs. I prepared a wonderful array of cereal, I didn't care what I was eating all I know is that it took forever for me to get cereal ready, when I was ready I went back up to my room and turned on 88.1, and Robbie's voice greeted me.  
  
"Hello, you are listening to"  
  
"Radio" said Ray as Pronto  
  
"Free" said Robbie yet again as Question Mark  
  
"Roscoe" said Travis as his alter ego Smog.  
  
"Before QM makes his little announcement I want to make mine, the beautiful and talented Shady Lane will not be joining us today"  
  
"Thanks you Pronto, now for this" began Question Mark, "I'm Question Mark and I'm wondering, what's with all this teen romance? I mean how do you know that your Soulmate is already in your life by the time you're 14? What if you can't handle the hurt, when you're "Soulmate" breaks things off with you?"  
  
"Good point, but what if your soulmate has been in your life since the day you met them" Pronto asking, talking of me.  
  
"Or" Smog piped in "What if your friends so called "soulmate" mite very well be yours too?"  
  
I didn't know how things were going down in the RFR underground, but it felt like something huge was going to happen, and I was nervous to know what it was. But I was never expecting this.  
  
"I love Shady Lane" Smog said.  
  
"Well sorry but I have loved her since I met her swami!"  
  
"Guys!! Chill" Robbie tried to lower the intenseity  
  
"Well swami thinks that you can just steal your friends girl and not even fell bad about it!"  
  
"No, it depends on how the girl feels! I love Shady, and there is no way you could possibly comprehend how I feel towards her!"  
  
"Well! While I settle this fight in here, this song goes out to Shady Lane who is hopefully listening and taking this all in, here is "The Beautiful Letdown" by Switchfoot.  
  
With that they went off the air and my cell phone was ringing off the hook.  
  
"Hello?" I asked knowing it was either Travis or Ray.  
  
"Hi, are you listening to RFR?" asked the voice.  
  
"Yes, yes I am"  
  
"Well I meant everything I said, I really do love you Lily" said the voice.  
  
"I know, and I love you too"  
  
"So what does this mean?"  
  
"It means that 'I love you'"  
  
"Will this lead to anything? I mean I thought you really do love Me." the voice asked desperately  
  
"I do, but I have to talk to Travis, get him on the phone"  
  
"We are about to go back on the air"  
  
"Does it sound like I care, Ray!!" I said mad at the time.  
  
"Ok, here's swami"  
  
"Ray, stop calling him that, he deserves better if we start to go out!"  
  
"Fine here is Travis" he handed to phone to Travis.  
  
"Hi Lily"  
  
"Travis, I'm sorry about everything"  
  
"No need to apologize, I heard that you and Ray are going to go out, and I have made myself fine with that..." he said in a fake tone.  
  
"Travis, I know when you are lying and that was a lie"  
  
"Well what am I supposed to say Lily? That I refuse to give up and I will seek out your love forever?"  
  
"At least that sounded honest."  
  
"It's because it was, it took no time at all to fall for you, because you are beautiful, funny and just an amazing girl, but it will take the longest time to ever get over you" He hung up.  
  
I was right back where I started, it was 4:30, I turned off RFR, I didn't want to hear from any of them right now, I wanted to turn everything off! I decided I would, my mom wasn't supposed to be home until 10 pm I have 5 ½ hours. I went to the medicine cabinet and got the aspirin, the results of my last over-dose had just worn off, but since it got me away from the world for at least a little while, and the psychotic DJ's of RFR both pining for my love, I took another 8 pills, and watched T.V. until that familiar dizzy feeling returned...

**A/N: yes, Lily is taking aspirin as a way to deal with her pain, but you must forgive me things will get better. I promise.  
  
(Hint for Pairings: Screen Name) (yes it gives it all away)**


	5. Harder To Breathe

**True Scars Never Heal**  
  
Ch 5: Harder To Breath  
Radio Free Roscoe  
  
I went to the medicine cabinet and got the aspirin, the results of my last over-dose had just worn off, but since it got me away from the world for at least a little while, I took another 8 pills, and watched T.V. until that familiar dizzy feeling returned...  
  
I woke up 5 hours later, my mom was home, hopefully she hadn't talked to me, or even visited me, I was Over Dosed, I felt like a truck had hit me, the pain in my hand returned, I left and went to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror, was this me? A pale girl with messy hair, shades of purple under her eyes, and her eyes were so dark it was scary. The effects of the aspirin hadn't worn off, I was a druggie. I heard a phone, oh the ring hurt my head so much, it rang again, more pain through my head, I ran to get the phone before more pain jolted from my neck up.  
  
"Hello" I asked groggily with a low tone to my voice.  
  
"Lily? You sound different" He asked.  
  
"I know, I know, I'm not doing so well, I'm probably not going to school tomorrow"  
  
"Oh, well I'm coming over to give you your homework, I collected it for you"  
  
"Thanks, I thought you were still mad at me?"  
  
"I guess I am going to have to talk to you when I get over there"  
  
"Ok, I will talk to you soon"  
  
"Ok, Bye Lily"  
  
"Bye Trav"  
  
That was it, the boy I had fought with was coming over, while I was in the middle of an OD, this wasn't good, he could notice I looked different, it was as obvious as the sky was blue, I was scared he was going to tell my parents, then I would go to counciling, my life was just spinning down the drain. ding-dong oh the pain when through my head din- it got cut off, my mom answered the door I heard voices coming from downstairs, it was Travis and my mom, then I heard footsteps, I wasn't ready my hair was in a mess and my OD was still in effect, it was dying off, but I needed to get over it in 5 seconds, and there was no way I could do that.  
  
Knock  
  
The first one takes me a little off guard  
  
Knock-Knock  
  
The second one just sends pain to my head  
  
Knock-Knock-Knock-Knock-Knock  
  
The third know made me answer it.  
  
"Hi Travis" I said putting a fake smile on trying to hide any OD after effects.  
  
"Lily what happened to you"  
  
"Just slept a lot today that's it, no time to straighten my hair or anything"  
  
"Alright Lily" hands me, the books, my hands weren't prepared for the amount the books had weighed and dropped them square on the floor. When I knelt down my bottle of aspirin dropped out of my pajama pant pocket, Travis leans down to help and grabs my aspirin bottle without me noticing. He looks at it and notices the over-dose after effects. Drowsiness, Dizziness, Weakness, Nausea, and Bags underneath eyes. He looked at me picking up my books, I grabbed tightly on the wall while standing.  
  
"Wow, got really dizzy there for a moment" I laughed a little and placed her books on my bed.  
  
"You-You dropped these" Travis handed me the bottle, I fiercily grabbed it from him  
  
"Thanks" I mumbled almost silently.  
  
"Lily, are you by any chance taking more then 2 pills at a time"  
  
"WHAT? I mean what? Why would I do something like that"  
  
"Lily" he began, he knew she was over-dosing on aspirin, he also felt tears coming to his eyes, "I know you are taking more then the average dose of aspirin, why though Lily?" asking truly concerned.  
  
"Because Travis", I began, "You and I practically lost our friendship, Me and Ray really have to talk about our relationship, and I found aspirin and it takes me away from the world for a little while" I finished with tears, this was nothing new for me. I had become this weak little child almost, who lost it's way, and then found his way by becoming an aspirin addictive. He hugged me and I cried into his shoulder, which wasn't a big thing anymore, I had never cried this much in my entire life, and now I needed to make the biggest choice of my life.  
  
"Travis" I said, wiping a tear away from my eyes.  
  
"Yea Lily?" he questioned, being one of the most concerned people I had ever known.  
  
"Does this mean we are friends again" I questioned nervously  
  
"Of course Lily it would take forever for me to get truly mad at you"  
  
"Thanks Travis" I smiled, amazingly real this time, me and Travis stayed there and talked, one thing was right in my life, but there was still Ray, the one guy I loved. I was still mad and sad, So when I left I noticed Travis had taken the pills with him so I went to the store to get more, Travis cared, but he was a little slow that I could always buy more. I got home at 12 midnight, I took 8 pills again and felt so much better I slept until morning. When my mom woke me up, I tried to tell her to let me stay home, she wouldn't let me. My head hurt, I was dizzy and today it was weird but it's like it was harder for me to breath. I got dressed and tried to get me to look presentable, but of course, my OD hadn't left, so I had pale skin and bags under my eyes, wow today was going to be an interesting day of school.......  
  
_**A/N: Hey everyone!! Yes, chapter 5 is up! I had about 7 or 8 reviews last time THANK YOU SO MUCH!! Please continue to review, there are two more chapters to this story, so please keep reviewing!!!  
  
Much Love, Amanda**_


	6. Twenty and Counting

True Scars Never Heal  
  
Chapter 6: Twenty and Counting  
  
I got dressed and tried to get me to look presentable, but of course, my OD hadn't left, so I had pale skin and bags under my eyes, wow today was going to be an interesting day of school.......  
  
I walked out my door, and tripped completely off the porch, convientiently right into my "boyfriends" hands. Ray caught me.  
  
"Thanks, I guess I'm just a little tired" as I rubbed my eyes pretending to be exhausted.  
  
"Really tired apparently, no offense, but you look like crap"  
  
"Well I understand why I wanted to go out with you" I said sarcastically, I thought he cared, I mean, he was my boyfriend and he had been in love with me since the day we started high school. I DID look like crap, but did he really have to rub it in my face.  
  
"Please don't hate my Lily, you know me, I say stupid stuff all the time" he said with a smile," but seriously are you ok?"  
  
"Yea Ray, I'm fine" I smiled fakly, as Ray put his arm around me, then I realized I couldn't ignore my feelings for Travis forever. "Ray, I lied, I'm not alright" I said.  
  
He stopped, "What's wrong Lil?"  
  
"I think we should break up"  
  
"WHAT? Why? I love you Lily, whats wrong, please don't break up with me"  
  
But he was shouting, I had walked away. I didn't want to answer his questions, I just wanted to go to school and talk to Travis, and tell him that I cared for him a lot. But I hear footsteps... running footsteps, they were Ray's... They were fastily approaching, so I started to run. Started to run and cry. I felt a hand on my shoulder. Ray was going to try and help the situation, but he actually made it worse.  
  
"Lily please what did I do wrong?" Ray asked sympathetically  
  
"Nothing, I just need to move on" I said, and left Ray there, standing on the stairs of school, and I ran into the girls bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. I was reminded of what I used to look like with my OD effects, pale skin, bags unger my eyes, blood-shot eyes. I looked like the living dead. From crying and my OD, and I was going to feel better. I got my aspirin and went into the nearest stall. I took another 8, but then decided to upgrade the dosage to 10. I realized that I mite be harming myself, but in a few hours, I would be away from the world and away from Ray and away from Travis.  
  
First class I shared with nobody I was close friends with, although Maggie did show up, late though, and actually talked to me.  
  
"Who ran you over with a truck?" Maggie asked me, we had met in detention, and she had cheered for Ray and I, great, now I would have to tell her we just broke up  
  
"I just broke things off with Ray" I said staring at my desk and slowly chipping away wood with my pencil.  
  
"You and Ray were dating?" she asked surprised.  
  
"Were, is the keyword, I broke things off this morning"  
  
"Oh, well good look with whoever you have your eye on now" she said and moved a few seats behind me. Class began and I drifted off into daydreaming. RINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG. Stupid bell. Classes are changing, and The new OD is starting, the bell gave me a headache, isn't aspiring supposed to stop headaches? I guess not when you take 5 times the regular dosage, maybe if I took more? I decided to try it, I went to the bathroom and took another 10, this time I had a hard time swallowing them. "20" I said out loud in the girls washroom.  
  
"20 what?" a voice answered, I jumped up and hid the pills and exited the stall  
  
"Oh Audrey, hey, uhm 20..... wrong on my.... Math test, my mom is going to kill me" I said tripping as I left the bathroom  
  
"Are you okay, you've been a little... off today, I've seen you staggering in the hallway" Audrey questioned.  
  
"Yea, just a little tired", I said tripping yet again. I stood up and grabbed a wall with a shaky hand, "Got to get to class" I said smiling fake as usual, and stumbled my way to my next class. Which I had just remembered I shared with Travis. I stopped and straightened my shirt, tried to look, not dead for one thing, and look attractive for another. I walked in an found Travis reading "The Art To Spirituallity Through Buddism" I tapped his shoulder and he looked up.  
  
"Hi" was all I could say, I was shaking, and it wasn't because I was nervous -although I was- it was because of the intensity of the drugs.  
  
"Hey" he said smiling, that smile is one that literally takes your heart and shakes it so you want to melt, which was what I felt like doing.  
  
"I broke up with Ray this morning" I said trying not to shake so much  
  
"Why? Did you finally realize that you guys were too close to ever pursue a serious relationship?" Travis said in that deep brooding voice of his, another part of him that makes you want to melt.  
  
"Yea, plus I have fallen for another guy..." I said, not really finishing what I wanted to say which was "Yea, plus I have fallen for another guy, who is sitting right in front of me" but I didn't have the nerve to say that. But that seemed to catch his attention.  
  
"Oh really?" he said while finally getting interested in what I had to say and he sat his book down.  
  
"Yea it's" I suddenly felt dizzy, my heart was beating very fast and when I went to go sit down I missed the seat and started to shake rapidly on the floor, that was all I could remember.  
  
A few minutes later – hours actually, because I had blacked out for so long- I heard phones, I thought for a minute I was home, I tried to open my eyes, but it was blurry and then I heard a man's voice yell "Code Red" then I realized I wasn't at home... but in a hospital room. I rubbed my eyes and tried to sit up I had IV's in my arms, and severe pains throughout my body, I looked around the room... I wasn't alone, to my left in a very uncomfortable looking chair, lay Travis...  
  
End of Chapter 6 


	7. My Knight In Shining High Collared Shirt...

**True Scars Never Heal**

**Chapter 7: My Knight in Shining Collared Shirts**

** Radio Free Roscoe**  
  
"Travis" I said shakily as his blue eyes started opening, he wasn't really asleep, as it was only 10 in the morning but he had dozed off for a bit.  
  
"Lily" he said standing up, scooting his chair by my bed, and grasping a hold of the needle free hand that I had. "How are you feeling?" he asked obviousle concerned.  
  
"I'm alright, but what happened?" I asked.  
  
"Well in Mr. Depals class, you missed your seat and started to shake on the floor, your face became very pale, and you complained about being freezing cold, so I picked you up and ran you to the nurse's office, which I will probably get in trouble for later, and she called an ambulance, but then you stopped breathing and we had a hard time keeping you alive when the ambulance got there, then you were put in a room on this floor, and I accompanied you, then you woke up spotted me sitting on that horribly uncomfortable chair and I came over here and you then asked me what had happened" he said smiling at the end. "Recall any of that?"  
  
"Just the parts I was awake to hear" I said laughing slightly.  
  
"Lily I'm worried" Travis started, "I mean, I took the pills away from you in the first place, then you go back to taking them until you reach 20 a day, Lily if I hadn't of realized anything was wrong, you might not be here, right now" he said turning his head towards me. My eyes met his and we just looked at each other in this moment of pure intense passion, I wanted to just kiss him, and make him feel the way I have felt for him for so long, but I couldn't. A part of me was worried about Ray's reaction, and another was just too worried about pure and utter rejection.  
  
"That's why I'm glad, someone actually cared about me" I said," Ray was probably to busy with other things to notice the crap I looked like, and I'm glad someone wasn't too busy to notice."  
  
"I'm always busy noticing you Lily" he said. WAIT, does that mean he is always looking at me?  
  
"What?" I asked like a total blonde, I just wanted to make sure he felt the same about me before I made my move.  
  
"Lily you're the only girl I notice, whether it's when you are walking, whether it's when you are Shady Lane on RFR, especially when I know you're hurting and I can't take the pain out of it, but what I really want to know Lily, is do you ever notice me?" he asked, I was thinking there was never a time I didn't notice him, but I may sound like a stalker if I said that.  
  
"Travis" I said smiling, "You are the only boy I notice too" I said hugging him.  
  
"What? But you and Ray were together" he asked surprised, I let go of him slightly fomr the hug.  
  
"That doesn't mean I stopped looking at you" I said. Before I knew what was going on, my eyes were closed and my mouth was pressed firmly against his, my needle-ful hand was on the back of his neck and my needle-less hand was around his back, both if his hand were cupped around my waist.  
  
"Now this drug I could get addicted to" I said speaking of our 3rd kiss since we had met (we had kissed twice in the underground).  
  
"Now what drug would that be" he said as his face turned half concerned/angered and half intrigued.  
  
I leaned in and whispered in his ear "Ecstasy, which is what is going on between you and me"  
  
Travis smiled and agreed, "Sheer and utter ecstasy I can live with that" he said smiling at me and his lips meeting with mine again, this time I felt like I was away from the world, but not ODed this time. Travis made me feel as lite as air with our "ecstasy drug" it wasn't really the real E, but it felt like it. We could be together and we could float away from the world, which we both needed right now, Ray would end up hating Travis, since he still had feelings for me, but he would just have to get over it. I let go from his kiss and was wowed.  
  
"Ecstasy, just for you and for me" I said  
  
"You feel like your floating too eh? Travis remarked.  
  
"Ya, and you make me feel that way." I said  
  
"Same to you, Lily, you make me feel free."  
  
I kissed him again, this time I knew, it was right, we were lifted off the grounds again in that ecstasy feeling, and we knew this would work. It had to. We would make this work. And in the end, using our "ecstasy" made me feel better, and I guess it isn't true, that when ever someone says "true scars never heal you know!" they are wrong. Because my scars have healed, and I give all thanks to Travis.  
  
**End of True Scars Never Heal **


End file.
